Date: Thu, 14 Nov 1996 10:59:42 -0800
From: Eric James Robinson <ericjr@garnet.berkeley.edu>
Subject: Bent Philosophy

While I've really enjoyed the perspectives posted recently,
it has occurred to me that few of them offer a systematic
treatment of the classical problems of philosophy.  I've
wrestled with this for a few days and come up with the
following.  I'm sure the list members will point out any
holes or inconsistencies.

METAPHYSICS
-----------

What is the nature of reality?  Does it consist of ideas (idealism),
stuff (materialism), or both (dualism)?  I think we have to side
with the materialists on this one.  As you may remember, one of the
most prominent proponents of idealism, George Berkeley, was refuted
thus by a gentleman soundly kicking a rock, thus proving that the
world consists of physical matter.  Ultrarunners kick a LOT of rocks,
and so I think we can consider idealism very thoroughly refuted.

But wait, you say.  What if an evil genius has removed your brain,
put it in a vat of nutrients and is manipulating your neural signals
so that you merely THINK you are kicking a rock?  Answer:  Ultrarunners
are specifically trained to thwart the efforts of evil geniuses (also
known as course designers).  With the possible exception of the Barclay,
I don't think we need to worry on this score.  By the way, I still need
a pacer for the Brain In A Vat 100M - any volunteers?

EPISTEMOLOGY
------------

Knowledge occurs under the following conditions:

        1)      It is described in the race packet
        2)      You actually read the race packet
        3)      You believe what was in the race packet
        4)      You have reason to trust the race director
        5)      The race packet is in fact correct

Since it is exceedingly unlikely for all five of these conditions
to be satisfied at once, I think we can dismiss the possibility
that Ultrarunners know anything beyond what Descartes demonstrated.
Cogito ergo zoom (I think, therefore I went out too fast).

CONSCIOUSNESS
-------------

Now for the mind-body problem, which isn't really a problem.  Blisters
are a problem.  Sleep deprivation, misnavigation, injuries -- those are
problems.  But just how many DNF's have been caused by wondering how
billions of neural impulses (physical processes) could bear any relation
to consciousness (mental processes)?  I daresay none.  Ha.

FREE WILLY
----------

I understand this is a traditional philosophical problem, but honestly,
I just don't see what a marine mammal has to do with anything.

AESTHETICS
----------

Again, I don't get it.  Plastic or leather inserts probably help a lot
of people with biomechanical problems, but where is the controversy?

Hold on. I must have been thinking of something else.  The question is
about beauty, right?  Well, take a close look at your feet.  Envision
the exact opposite.  Beautiful things have the correct number of anatomical
parts (and in the proper location).

CONCLUSION
----------

That just about covers the big questions.  Except for how much, and
whether to train.  I'll have to give it some thought.

# Eric Robinson
# --------------------------
# ericjr@garnet.berkeley.edu
# --------------------------
# Berkeley, California
# --------------------------